Her Voice
by Nicole1
Summary: DanielJanet pairing no spoilers. Challenge response written to the prompt: angst, a goa'uld hand device, chocolate. Rating is just for some mild language


**Her Voice**

_A/N this is my first time writing these two, hope you like it_

not mine don't sue

Daniel couldn't think, breath, or speak. The burning pain lancing through his skull was consuming him, sadly it was all too familiar. The Goa'uld's little hand device had to have been made in hell. Because his brain certainly felt like it was on fire.

He could hear voices, feel hands on his sweaty skin. But he didn't understand them, he couldn't seem to focus no matter how hard he tried. Daniel was pretty sure they had carried him back through the gate, he'd felt that indescribable feeling of gate travel in the midst of his agony, so most likely he was back on the base. That was only a guess, he'd already made the mistake of trying to open his eyes once, that hadn't worked out too well. The light had made the pain even worse and he wasn't eager to repeat the experience.

On some level Daniel knew this wasn't normal. He'd been attacked with those things before and it had never lasted this long, usually when the weapon was removed the pain began to fade. Not this time. It wasn't going away, in fact he was damn sure it was getting worse. Now the burning feeling was spreading down his body.

Cool hands began to run down his face, he could hear a voice, it was soft and gentle. Soothing. A woman's voice. He might not have understood what she was saying but he found himself calming down. He knew that voice. It meant he was safe.

Daniel forced himself to focus in on what this angel was saying. That's what she was to him right now, a cool breeze in an otherwise scorching room. Words began to come together, fuzzy and slow, but he began to understand.

"Listen to me Daniel. You have to stay with me, focus on my voice. I need you to fight this. We think we know what's causing this, but you have to stay awake." Her voice was calm, but there was an underlying tremor in it, that only someone who knew her well would notice. She was afraid. "Please give me some sign you understand me."

Daniel felt pressure on his hand as cool fingers laced through his. His mouth felt like it was full of cotton and he felt his lips crack as he attempted to form words. All he managed was a slight grunt at first, but Daniel wasn't the type to give up easily. He tried again...and again. The third time he succeeded.

"Janet." It was barely above a whisper and he sounded like a dying frog. But she heard him.

"Thank god." Her grip on his hand tightened.

"What-"

"Daniel, I know you have questions but I need you to listen very carefully." The sound of water dripping, followed by a cool cloth on his forehead eased some of the pain that was eating away at his mind.

"Help is on the way. We have contacted the Tokra. Jacob should be here within a few hours. What I need from you is only one thing. You need to stay awake, no matter what happens. If you fall asleep, I believe it will accelerate the damage being caused to your nervous system."

Daniel swallowed back a cough. "Janet, why is this happening?"

He heard some rustling, then felt a cold, moist object being pressed to his lips. "Ice chips Daniel. Take some, it'll help."

He gratefully took the offered ice. "Much better, thanks." His voice sounded less strangled to his ears. It wasn't much of an improvement, but he'd take what he could get.

"I don't know exactly Daniel. I have a theory. I think that each exposure to the hand device leaves behind undetectable scarring and damage to a human body. Then eventually, after one to many times, that damage rears its ugly head in a big way."

He could hear the discomfort in her tone. She didn't want to be telling him this, but she knew he needed to know.

"Tell me Janet."

He felt a her hand rest on his cheek. "It's basically setting off a chain reaction along you nerve endings Daniel. Initially, when you were brought in, it was only affecting your brain...and only mildly. Now it seems to be traveling along you spinal cord, to your arms. I think it will keep progressing until your entire body is affected."

"So what does that mean exactly." It was becoming harder to focus on her words again. He bit the inside of his mouth and forced himself to stay awake. But the fog kept beckoning him.

"It means I need you to stay alert, don't let this beat you." He could feel her leaning into him, her breath felt cool against his hot skin. "It's trying to force you to fall asleep Daniel. You were unconscious when you came through the gate. It took me awhile to completely wake you, it seems that when you-"

"Are sleeping it spreads faster." Daniel finished for her wearily. "It's hard for me to stay tuned into what's going on around me, I could hear things but not understand them," he admitted.

Even with his eyes closed he could see her face scrunching up in thought, analyzing what he'd just said. It brought a small smile to his face.

"What you're saying makes sense. Can you tell me anything else?"

"Well, my skin feels like its on fire, my head feels like it wants to explode, and it's hard to," Daniel sighed and dropped his voice to a whisper. "I feel like I'm dying."

"You are not going to die. Been there done that Dr. Jackson. I will not let you go again, you hear me." When Janet Frasier got that tone of voice you didn't argue with her. Her short stature was more than made up for by her conviction. Not to mention her compassion.

She was one of the strongest women he knew, and also one of the most caring. He felt tears well up in his eyes. "Thanks Janet."

She squeezed his hand again. "Anytime."

"So once it gets through infiltrating all my nerves...I'm guessing it's going to focus on frying my brain." He gave her a weak smile.

"That isn't going to happen. Colonel O'Neill and the others are off fetching Jacob now. It's only a matter of time before they get back. The Tokra told us where to find him, sadly there was no way to radio contact him at his location. So they have to actually hike out to meet him, but they left almost immediately after you were brought in Daniel. And believe me, they were in a hurry." He could feel her smiling down at him.

"That's good to know."

"Is the pain any better?"

"Yes actually."

"I've got you on some medications, a few I've tried seem to be slowing it's progression. Whatever "it" is exactly. Plus I added a few for the pain, I'm just sorry I can't do more."

This time it was his turn to grasp her hand. "You're doing plenty. Thank you for just being here." Despite his dire situation he felt himself blushing. _She must think I'm pathetic_.

Instead of her pulling away like he expected he felt her move closer, then her lips gently brushed against his forehead, kissing him softly.

"I want to be here."

Daniel wanted to say a hundred things at that moment, but he didn't. Fear held him back like always. Fear of getting to close, fear of losing someone he loved again, fear that she might not feel the same. So he said nothing.

"Daniel, I think you can open your eyes. I noticed the light hurt you, so I had you moved into a private room. It's very dim in here, I made sure of it."

"I'll try." He took a deep breath, said a silent prayer, and opened his heavy, gritty blue eyes and waited for the ice pick in his head to flare up again. Much to his delight it didn't.

The room was just as Janet had said. Very dim, only a small lamp in the corner. She was standing over his bed peering down at him looking, tired, but beautiful as always. The way the soft lighting touched her face, gave her an angelic appearance. Her hair was down, it fell just barely above her shoulders. Daniel had always found her lovely, but he was quite partial to this hairstyle on her.

When he had come back from ascension, they had taken him directly to the infirmary, he hadn't remembered anyone then, but he remembered feeling comfortable around her, a sense of belonging. Then she had given him back his glasses. After regaining his memories, he'd found out she had held onto them for him the entire time he'd been gone. Janet told him that she knew he'd be back for them someday.

That was the day he realized how much he loved her. She thought about him, noticed him, and cared enough about him to hold onto something that she knew he needed for all that time. It was a rare thing to find, someone who cared that much.

He knew better than anyone. His streak of bad luck with woman was long and extensive. Especially in his younger years. He'd been the geek for a long time. He'd found happiness for a short while with Sha're, but that was gone now.

Daniel didn't know if his heart could take loosing someone like that again...but then again was this any better? Never telling her, never knowing what might have been. Hell, he might die today and never get another chance.

All those thoughts raced through his mind in seconds. He knew what he wanted to say, it was just actually doing it that was the problem. Then there was also that issue of staying awake. His eyes were feeling very heavy and his mind was threatening to fall into that fog again.

"Daniel, are you okay?"

"I'm sorry. Just thinking."

She nodded. Then surprised him by sitting down on the edge of the bed next to him. "Sleepy?"

It wasn't a question." Yeah."

"I'm afraid to inject you with anything else Daniel. I don't know how it will affect your condition."

He could hear the frustration in her voice. She honestly didn't know what was causing this, or how to help, and it was making her feel like a failure. Daniel understood how she felt. He'd felt the same on many occasions.

"This isn't your fault Janet. Hey I feel better than I did, my head is much better and-"

"Thank you for saying that. I just hate feeling so helpless."

"Waiting sucks doesn't it."

She gave him a soft smile. "Sure does."

She abruptly stood. "I'm going to get Nurse Stevens to come in here and sit with you for a bit while I go double check a few things from your MRI's."

For once Daniel didn't think before he spoke.

"Janet wait."

She turned back towards him, her eyes were unusually bright.

"Please don't go. Just stay with me." It came out before he could stop himself. He wanted ..no needed her near him. The thought of her leaving the room made him feel all panicky, he felt like she was his anchor. If she left, he would fall into the fog and never wake up. He knew it was stupid, but he couldn't shake it, he'd just never meant to tell her about it.

She blinked rapidly and then turned away. For a brief, hurt moment he thought she was going to leave. Then she swiped quickly at her eyes and resumed her position on the edge of his bed. "Okay," was all she said. It was enough.

"I'm sorry I just-"

"No I'm sorry Daniel. I just, it's hard for me too...I'm glad you asked me to stay."

Their eyes locked, he felt something shift between them, it was like a wall had come down. Daniel wasn't sure who had built it in the first place, but at that moment it really didn't matter. She felt the same way he did. He wasn't sure how he knew, he just did.

Of course the pain chose that moment to knock at his door again.

He immediately felt Janet's hand enveloping his again. He could hear her yelling for a nurse, then things got muddy.

He was falling, fast. Janet's words kept echoing in the back of his aching head. _"Stay alert. Don't let this beat you_." Janet. He was going to die without telling her. That was unacceptable. His teammates wouldn't fail. They would be back with Jacob. The Tokra would use the healing device on him, and he would live.

Janet was right. He'd already done dead way too many times. Never again, not if he had any choice in the matter.

He fought with everything he had, he clung to that steadfast voice that he instinctively knew was Janet's. He let it lead him back to her, back to life...it brought him back home.

"Janet," he gasped for the second time that day.

"I'm here," her grip on his hand was so tight it was actually painful, but he could have cared less, he gripped back. He opened his eyes and was shocked to see Janet hovering inches above his face, she was so close he could see every detail, right down to a few freckles she had on her nose.

The pain was still agonizing, but it wasn't winning anymore.

"You saved me," he whispered as he brought a trembling hand up and brushed away a single tear that leaked from her warm, loving, brown eyes.

"I didn't do anything. All I did was talk to you."

"Your voice Janet, it kept me here, it helped me find my way back to you. Away from the darkness and pain." He knew he was saying too much, but he couldn't seem to stop himself. Now that he'd started, words that were damned up came gushing out like a torrent of water.

She opened her mouth to say something but he pressed on before she could interrupt.

"I've been so scared at what might happen if I told you how much you mean to me. Afraid of losing our friendship, but I'm not afraid anymore. Janet I lo-"

"Dr. Frasier." Nurse Stevens came barging in followed by a very worried Jack, Sam, Tealc, and Jacob.

"They're back."

Things moved very fast from that point. Jacob was moving over him, Janet supervising, his teammates hovering around looking like they had just lost their dog.

He must have blacked out at some point, the next thing Daniel knew he was waking up again, this time he wasn't in an isolated room. He was back in the actual infirmary, surrounded by the sounds people talking, machines beeping, and best of all he wasn't in any pain.

He carefully turned his head and saw the majority of his family sitting around him. One person was missing, it made his heart clench. Janet wasn't there.

He smiled despite the hole in his heart and gratefully accepted hugs from all three of his teammates. Cookies from Sam, a book from his home from Jack, and plenty of small talk from all of them.

The entire time his mind kept wandering back to Janet, wondering why she wasn't here. He must have been wrong. She didn't feel the same Now she was avoiding him. _Dammit, I'm such an idiot_.

"Daniel are you okay?" Sam was looking at him with a furrowed brow.

"I'm just tired is all."

"Well kids, I think we better leave Danny boy to his own devices for a bit. Get some rest Daniel." Jack gave his shoulder a squeeze and an encouraging smile.

'Thanks Jack."

"Oh and Daniel, everything is going to work out just fine."

"What are you-"

Jack was already out the door before Daniel could finish his question. Daniel shook his head. There was no way he could possible know about Janet...could he?

No since worrying about it right now. Besides he really was exhausted. Jacob had done an amazing job repairing all the damage, but he was still drained and sore. Pushing all thoughts out of his mind he drifted off to sleep.

When Daniel woke up later that night, the infirmary was much quieter, and the lights had been dimmed somewhat.

"Daniel."

His heart almost stopped, he slowly turned his head toward the voice. There she was, Janet Frasier sitting in a chair next to his bed.

"Hey."

"Hey."

"What time is it?"

She glanced down at her watch. "About 2:00 am."

"What are you doing up? Shouldn't you be in bed at home sleeping," he attempted to smile, but was worried about what she was about to say.

"I wanted to see you. I'm sorry I wasn't here earlier, I was meeting with General Hammond. Jacob and I were explaining all of our findings to him."

"Oh." _I can't believe I didn't think about that_. A glimmer of hope sparked in him, maybe she hadn't been avoiding him. She was here now, and it was two in the morning. She smiled then, more like beamed actually. "You are doing great Daniel. I can't believe how well that device works. Amazing one Goa'uld device can do so much damage and the other can heal it."

"I feel pretty good considering."

"I can't even imagine what you were going through."

Daniel shrugged and found himself avoiding her gaze.

"I brought you something."

That got his attention. "Really?"

She laughed. The sound relaxed him. Janet reached down and came up with a box of chocolates.

"Chocolate." He didn't try to hide his surprise.

Now she was really grinning. "I thought you could use something sweet after the past day."

For some reason that simple statement really touched him. "That is such a nice thing to say."

"Well," she brushed a stray strand of hair out of her face. "I mean it."

"Janet"

"Daniel."

They both laughed. "I'll go first," she appeared nervous.

"Okay." Daniel waited.

"I wanted to tell you something. I don't know how much you remember saying to me before Jacob arrived-"

"Everything," his eyes locked onto hers and didn't let go.

She smiled shyly, he smiled back. "Good."

"I meant every word."

"I was hoping you were going to say that. I have been going crazy Daniel. I was scared of all the same things, afraid of losing what we had, there were so many times I almost told you, but I would always back off at the last second."

"Me too."

"Wow." She whispered.

"Yeah. I'm not dreaming am I?"

"Daniel, if you are, then we're sharing it."

They sat and stared at each other in comfortable silence for a few moments.

"Janet."

"Daniel."

"I love you."

She moved and sat on the edge of the bed without any words she leaned in and kissed him. It was tentative and soft at first, then when he slid his arms up her back and pulled her closer, she deepened the kiss. She tasted warm and sweet...like chocolate.

She pulled away slowly and rested her forehead against his. "I love you too."

They just sat there enjoying being near each other for awhile. For the first time in a long while, Daniel felt whole.

Her soft voice broke the silence. "Can you do me one favor Daniel?"

"Anything."

"No more near death experiences."

He laughed. "You got it. I've got a favor to ask to."

"Name it."

"Kiss me again." He grinned mischievously.

"If you insist."

He did.

**end story**

**feedback is loved :)**


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